My Attitudde

RELAX

MEET THE WRITER
Ibukun Onitiju
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 He is a passionate student of Business Psychology, Online Marketing (Sales, Conversion, Marketing, Tech Setup) and runs an Online Marketing Agency – DMM Designs implementing online business solutions for clients.

He is married to Idara, who he fondly calls ‘My Lady’ and they have a beautiful daughter.

Follow on Twitter, Instagram  – @mindandmouth – @mindandmouth 

Like on Facebook – www.facebook.com/mindandmouth

 

 

Stress
When you see a snake, don’t be in a hurry to pick it up.
It is a lesson I learnt from the story of Moses in the bible.
Confidence will open doors for you but if you don’t know in who / what your confidence is, you will struggle (eventually).
If you haven’t read the story in a while, here’s a little recap.
God sent Moses to the most powerful king / ruler at the time to tell him to let the people of Israel leave Egypt by just asking.
Of course Pharaoh had other ideas.
So Moses performed the first trick God taught him. He dropped his rod and it turned into a snake in front of Pharaoh
Fantastic!

What happened next probably surprised Moses.
Pharaoh’s magicians gathered around, dropped their rods and they all turned into snakes too.

Let’s pause here.
If you were Moses, what will you do?
If you said ‘WAIT’ you are correct!
To turn the snake back into a rod, all Moses had to do was chicken out and pick up the rod.
But he didn’t (at least not in a hurry).
Seeing others do exactly what you boast about as your unique selling proposition is disturbing to say the least.
Was Moses shocked when Pharaoh’s magicians turn their rods into snakes too? Maybe
Scared? Maybe
Confused? Maybe
Wondered what will happen next? Maybe
Considered running? Not sure
Wanted to prostrate and tell Pharaoh he was sorry? I don’t think so.

Glanced at Aaron and motioned to the door? I don’t think so.
But whatever was happening between Moses’ ears gave him enough time to experience another miracle.

His snake swallowed the other snakes.

Thank God he waited.
If he had hurriedly picked up his snake, he wouldn’t have experienced this confidence building miracle.

Game of Thrones Season 6, Episode 2 came out last week.
One of the highly anticipated storylines was whether widely loved John Snow truly died from Season 5.
They called in a magician who was believed to have a chance of bringing him back to life.
She was clearly under a lot of pressure to bring John Snow back to life while everyone else looked on.
She performed her rituals and lo and behold, nothing happened.
John Snow was truly dead.
The onlookers walked out, clearly disappointed.
The magician had failed, disappointed in herself and like everyone else left the dead body and walked out.
Then John Snow woke up!

When we are under pressure, it seems our elements gain speed:
We talk faster
We make quick decisions without proper thoughts.
We run
We quickly want to get out of the uncomfortable situation.
We overreact.

Do this instead
* WAIT and reassess the situation
* Believe more in what you know, who you are and whose you are.
Don’t allow your confidence to take a knock.
Your snake will win
Your case will be resolved
Your business will thrive
Your marriage will stand
Your prayers will be answered.
Just wait (a bit)
Have a wonderful week ahead.

PS: Are you saying all I need to do is wait? Yes. If you are already good at what you do, intentionally slow down and wait to get your composure. Don’t let pressure derail you.

If you are not good at your trade yet, do this:
>> Know and practice the basics – In every area, understand and perfect the basics.
>> Master What Ifs – Don’t wait for things to go wrong. Imagine it went wrong, and then fix it.
>> Learn from past errors – Don’t repeat the same errors.

Follow on Twitter, Instagram  – @mindandmouth – @mindandmouth

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My Attitudde

BE THE CHANGE

be-the-change

As humans we change even when we don’t want to because we witness growth everyday both physically and mentally. This can’t be disputed as change is constant; it happens unprepared. While some will wallow in it and remain stagnant others get along by taking actions that will help achieve greatness in the process.
Anthony Robbins, an entrepreneur, best-selling author, philanthropist and the nation’s #1 Life and Business Strategist said “To create a lasting change do these:

  1. Change your limiting believe
  2. Change your strategy and
  3. Raise your standard”

Change is an act or process through which something becomes different.
Change is a process, not an event.
Your life does not get better by chance it gets better by change –Jim Rohn
Nothing changes until you make a change. –The Samaritan
You have to be intentional to grow (Change).

Remember:

The change you want to see in all spheres of life starts from you.

Be the change you want to see.

My Attitudde

WHAT LEADERSHIP IS NOT

MEET THE WRITER:

wole

Joseph Oluwole Lawrence

Oluwole is an Accredited Management Consultant and a Fellow of the International Management Consultants Board (FIMCB). An experienced Learning and Development Professional with years of exposure and experience in Learning, Training & Development.

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The greatest need of manhood is leadership. And our greatest challenge in our nation or globally is that of leadership vacuum. Strategically speaking, our greatest need is not money, not social programs, or even new governments. Our greatest need is quality, disciplined, moral and people centered leadership.

However, Leadership is the ability to inspire and influence a group of people to achieve worthwhile goals. I’ll want you to take note of these six words underlined below and to be observed critically.

Leadership is the ability and willingness to recognizereconnectrefinerelease, replicate or reproduce skills, talents, abilities and potentials in people, irrespective of their present problems to make them a progressive people, producing preferable result.

What consider leadership to be:

-Leadership is not only becoming a person of celebrities but a person with great responsibilities.
-Leadership is not about status but about service.
-Leadership is not about power but about people.
-Leadership is not about position but about operation.
-Leadership is not about title but about task.
-Leadership is not about aptitude but about attitude.
-Leadership is not about demanding for respect but about delivering respect.
-Leadership is not about personal achievement but people’s development.
-Leadership is not about charisma but about character.
-Leadership is not about being satisfied but more of willingness to sacrifice.
-Leadership is not about party but about personality.
-Leadership is not about principle but about life style.
-Leadership is not about structure but about culture.
-Leadership is not about pursuit but about result.
-Leadership is not about “come” into but about “call” into.

Practically, leadership is not so much about technique and methods as it is about opening the heart. Leadership is about inspiration of oneself and of others. The great leadership is about human experiences, not processes.

Leadership is not a formula or a program, it is a human activity that comes from the heart and considers the hearts of others.

ACTION:

Leadership is not about positioning, it is about FUNCTIONING -Paul Ilo

Leadership is INFLUENCE -John Maxwell

My Attitudde

NOTE TO SELF

NoteToSelf_1400X1400
One of the most important thing to do in life is to know oneself first.
Knowing oneself is as essential as how to and invests in others for self-legacy. This could be quite challenging for a lot of us, but with our mind properly made towards a certain height in life, the mountains ahead towards knowing who we are will become a molehill.
Paying attention to some of these SELF understanding will aid in un-learning, learning, re-learning to earn oneself.

What helps to boost ones personality are: Self-actualization, Self-esteem, Self-concept, Self-control, Self-evaluation, Self-love, Self-management, Self-help, Self-confidence, Self-responsibility, Self-commitment, Self-dedication, Self-development, Self-help, Self-leadership, Self-willpower, Self-criticism, Self-ego, Self-centered, Self-interest , Self-compassion, Self-improvement, Self-emotions, Self-belief, Self-reflection, Self-image, Self-identity, Self-philosophy, Self-thought, Self-discovery, Self-motivation, Self-perception, Self-practice, Self-value, Selfishness, Selflessness, Self-determination, Self-worthy, Self-awareness, Self-discipline, Self and Self-etc.

However, to be successful having realized/identified yourSELF, you must be surrounded with reasonable people to share whatever you have or know because there can never be SELF (you) without others.

ACTION: SELF
S: Sincerity
E: Extraordinary
L: Learning
F: Fruitfulness

Live a SELFless life

My Attitudde

B.L.I.S.S(conclusion) Your Script, Your Story!

B.L.I.S.S(conclusion) Your Script, Your Story!

MEET THE WRITER

gbonju1

Gbonju is a Human Resources Development Consultant, accredited Performance Coach and International Speaker, she is passionate about supporting individuals and organisations excel; ensuring the HRD function assists in the achievement of organisational strategic goals and objectives.
She is a smart, energetic, a teacher, and trainer. I recommend you connect with her.

The Acronym B.L.I.S.S stands for  Beliefs. Language. Identity. Script. Story.

whats your story

Over the past few weeks we have explored the impact of the human BELIEF system on achieving aspirations, the importance of LANGUAGE and how our IDENTITY is wrapped up in our thoughts, values and the criteria by which we see ourselves.

Let’s conclude this  B.L.I.S.S series by exploring the paradigm shift of re-scripting. The SCRIPT we choose is our STORY (who we are) in action and like a movie is reeling moment by moment. Our story is the sum of our belief & value system and the identity that has resulted from that.  Though we may have no option but to take a starring role, we do have the option of the role of the script writer.

Steven Covey in his life changing book, ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ writes extensively about the principle of scripting. He writes “Many people are a function of the social mirror, scripted by the opinions, the perceptions, and the paradigms of the people around them.”  I dare to say that your script does not have to be your story.

People generally have two scripts; the first one is the script modelling the belief & value system of people who influenced us as we grew up. This script echoes the labels we were given based on other people’s opinion of us- smart, silly, wayward, unserious, stupid, pretty, ugly, lazy, ‘of no good’, etc.

The second script is one that life hands over to us. We build a self image informed by the lessons that the sub conscious mind has stored from our experiences- the hurt, the disappointments and failures but also the victories and successes.

The principle of re-scripting is getting rid of the unproductive and dis-empowering scripts (which could also include habits) and creating a script that aligns with your desired story line to create your dream you.

There’s a musical of a medieval knight who meets a woman well known as a prostitute. But all he sees in her are her virtues and beauty; he proceeds to help her rewrite her script, starting with a new name associated with what he saw in her. At first the woman’s old script seemed more powerful, but gradually he ‘penetrates her scripting’, she begins responding and starts to live out the new script, changing her lifestyle to the shock of everyone else in her life.

I know all about re-scripting. As a child there was nothing to ‘behold’ of me, I come from a family of very academic people…not counting me.  All I could manage in any exam in secondary school was a credit in a maximum of four subjects, so talks of going to university was wishful thinking.

whats is your story 2

On the contrary, my sister was everything any parent could dream of- extremely brilliant, disciplined, hard working, neat, everything I wasn’t. So my script as a young child was that of a failure and a disappointment. But one day something happened, my mother took sides and I believe I was unfairly told off. As I cried to my room, my immediate older brother followed me upstairs in empathy. He challenged me to prove myself to ‘these people’. He reminded me that passing my upcoming JAMB and WAEC exams (only Nigerians will understand what those mean) was an opportunity to change my story. For the first time in my life I saw a gleam of possibility, someone actually believed in me! It seemed such a thin thread but that was all the life line I had.

I studied as if my whole life depended on it, putting aside all the  Mills & Booms that I had  secretly occupied my study time with  as I had believed there was no point studying for the exams I couldn’t pass.  A month after I turned sixteen I resumed at the university having passed both exams in one sitting. As I laid on my hostel bed that first night, reflecting on the past few months, I knew without a doubt that my script had changed, and with God’s help, a new story line was unfolding!

That was 28 years ago and my sister and I have grown very close, and as we Brits say, I love her to bits!  (Better  add that as she might be reading this!) But my message is, you have a script- born with or acquired, but you don’t have to accept it. You can choose to re-claim your role as the author, choose your own role and experience things differently!

Gbonju is a  UK based Human Resources Development Consultant, Personal/ Business Performance Coach, and international speaker. For more information on how you or your organisation can benefit from her services, visit www.peakpeopledevelopers.com or emailgbonju@peakpeopledevelopers.com

My Attitudde

B.L.I.S.S part 3- Identity By Gbonju Akintola

Meet the writer

gbonju1

Gbonju is a Human Resources Development Consultant, accredited Performance Coach and International Speaker, she is passionate about supporting individuals and organisations excel; ensuring the HRD function assists in the achievement of eacher, and trainer. I recommend you connect with her.

B.L.I.S.S part 3- Identity

The Acronym B.L.I.S.S stands for  Beliefs . Language.  Identity. Script. Story.

identity 3

In part one, I wrote on the impact of the human belief system on achieving aspirations. Part two focused on the importance of language. Today let’s explore the idea of ‘IDENTITY’
Your identity is wrapped up in your thoughts, values and criteria- How you see yourself… what you think of yourself … how you feel about yourself ,and provides you with the answer to the question. ‘Who am I’?

Your belief has a great impact on the identity you accept for yourself- I recently stumbled upon a personal website of an American woman called Gini Crawford. Her mum had died when she was just five years old and she had to go and live with her paternal grandparents. She grew up feeling in her own words ‘worthless, stupid, ugly and guilty’ because her grandmother constantly told her she was stupid (she had a learning disability which affected her performance at school). She was also made to feel responsible for everything that went wrong with the family, so for many years even as an adult, she carried the feeling of responsibility for anything that went wrong in any situation. These had so much effect on Gini that she dropped out of college.

Our past certainly influences our present, we all have labels from our past; but what Gini found out is that what determines your present or future is not what happened to you as a child but your attitude to it. At 47 Gini went back to college to finish her degree, but even then the beliefs of low self worth and inadequacy hunted her for a while. She wrote about when she got the result of her first test and saw a pass mark on it; the first thought that came to her mind was that that it could not be her test paper. But suddenly it dawned on her that she had believed the lie of the past even to that very moment in time.

iden3
So I ask you, ‘who are you?’ ‘What is your self worth tied to?’ for some people their self worth is tied up to their ‘big’ job titles and flashy lifestyles. A business acquaintance of mine once told us how her whole sense of self was once tied up to her senior executive role within a large corporation. Her thinking was, “I have this job and title = I am worthy and great; I don’t have this job= I am nothing, no one”

Just as a map of a territory is only a partial representation of that territory, your chosen job or career does not necessarily define you. I know someone who took early retirement (under 50 years old) as a senior manager at a top oil company and now spends his time playing the saxophone at social functions- and loving it!.

What you do is not always who you are. That explains why many people in supposedly enviable positions, are sad and unfulfilled. These feelings have a lot to do with the value system. Values can be described as ‘fundamental policies for the self that define who we are.’ They direct our lives and yet often we are not even aware of them. ‘Things become important to us when we believe they will take us in the direction of that ultimate goal in life – happiness as a state-of-being.’ The feeling of unfulfilment or disillusionment is a specific form of pain that tells you when your behavior is out of sync with your values. Your behaviour is what you do…your values describe what you expect of yourself and how you define yourself as a person.

 So to help you explore your identity, ponder on the following questions I found on Don and Angie Carter’s website:

  • How is what you are experiencing an expression of who you are?
  • How do you describe yourself? Do you live up to that? How often?
  • What labels do you put on other people?
  • How would others describe you?
  • Would other people think of you as you want them to?
  • What are 5 to 8 of the most important things in your life?
  • What is your mission in life?Do you have one?

Gbonju is a Human Resources Development Consultant, Personal/ Business Performance Coach, and international speaker. For more information on how you or your organisation can benefit from her services, visit www.peakpeopledevelopers.com or email gbonju@peakpeopledevelopers.com

My Attitudde

Here’s How to easily remember anything

Meet the writer

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Bankole is a Certified NLP Practitioner, a UK Certified Life Coach and a Certified Management Consultant (CMC) from the International Council for Managing Consulting Institutes(ICMCI). His facilitation skills are no doubt prolific, as he currently provides consulting interventions for banks and different organizations, some of which include, Guaranty Trust Bank, Access bank, Diamond Bank, Skye Bank, Union Bank, Heritage bank, Stanbic IBTC, StanbicIBTC pensions, Fidelity bank, Oando, NLNG, UTC and the Nigerian Stock Exchange to mention a few. Bankole is the Founder of LiveYourDreamsAfrica; a platform he set up to challenge Africans to live their lives intentionally towards the achievement of their dreams. http://www.bankolewilliams.com

 

Here’s How to easily remember anything

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I have often heard people say “I have a poor memory”. My next question to them is, ‘is there anything you are afraid of?’ And then they possibly say – a spider or a snake etc.

Then, I google the image of that thing (without their knowledge) and when they least expect, I place the image in front of them. Suddenly they jump in fear of the image (as though it was real).

My next statement to them is ‘How come you haven’t forgotten how to be afraid of the spider?’. You possibly had one bad experience with a spider as a child and since then you still REMEMBER how to respond. I must say, ‘You have a GREAT memory!’

The MIND is like a SUPER computer that is largely underutilized by most people. You have the CAPACITY to learn other things as THOROUGHLY as you have learned this phobia. You have the CAPACITY to uninstall old UNWANTED behavioural patterns and install new DESIRED ones.

Want to know how to remember anything? Well, let me share one way- by ASSOCIATION! The easiest way to recollect new information is to associate it with a strong emotion or to associate it with some other old information which you always remember. Instantly, that old information becomes a trigger for the new.

For example, for the plane that we need to catch at 2 P.M., we can imagine the plane in our mind, and notice that it has 2 wings. Two wings, 2 P.M. There’s an association. We are now ten times more likely to remember the take-off time long after it has faded from our short-term memory. Try it out! let me know what you think.

Take it in! Be ready and intentional to grow.

Cheers