B.L.I.S.S(conclusion) Your Script, Your Story!
MEET THE WRITER
Gbonju is a Human Resources Development Consultant, accredited Performance Coach and International Speaker, she is passionate about supporting individuals and organisations excel; ensuring the HRD function assists in the achievement of organisational strategic goals and objectives.
She is a smart, energetic, a teacher, and trainer. I recommend you connect with her.
The Acronym B.L.I.S.S stands for Beliefs. Language. Identity. Script. Story.
Over the past few weeks we have explored the impact of the human BELIEF system on achieving aspirations, the importance of LANGUAGE and how our IDENTITY is wrapped up in our thoughts, values and the criteria by which we see ourselves.
Let’s conclude this B.L.I.S.S series by exploring the paradigm shift of re-scripting. The SCRIPT we choose is our STORY (who we are) in action and like a movie is reeling moment by moment. Our story is the sum of our belief & value system and the identity that has resulted from that. Though we may have no option but to take a starring role, we do have the option of the role of the script writer.
Steven Covey in his life changing book, ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ writes extensively about the principle of scripting. He writes “Many people are a function of the social mirror, scripted by the opinions, the perceptions, and the paradigms of the people around them.” I dare to say that your script does not have to be your story.
People generally have two scripts; the first one is the script modelling the belief & value system of people who influenced us as we grew up. This script echoes the labels we were given based on other people’s opinion of us- smart, silly, wayward, unserious, stupid, pretty, ugly, lazy, ‘of no good’, etc.
The second script is one that life hands over to us. We build a self image informed by the lessons that the sub conscious mind has stored from our experiences- the hurt, the disappointments and failures but also the victories and successes.
The principle of re-scripting is getting rid of the unproductive and dis-empowering scripts (which could also include habits) and creating a script that aligns with your desired story line to create your dream you.
There’s a musical of a medieval knight who meets a woman well known as a prostitute. But all he sees in her are her virtues and beauty; he proceeds to help her rewrite her script, starting with a new name associated with what he saw in her. At first the woman’s old script seemed more powerful, but gradually he ‘penetrates her scripting’, she begins responding and starts to live out the new script, changing her lifestyle to the shock of everyone else in her life.
I know all about re-scripting. As a child there was nothing to ‘behold’ of me, I come from a family of very academic people…not counting me. All I could manage in any exam in secondary school was a credit in a maximum of four subjects, so talks of going to university was wishful thinking.
On the contrary, my sister was everything any parent could dream of- extremely brilliant, disciplined, hard working, neat, everything I wasn’t. So my script as a young child was that of a failure and a disappointment. But one day something happened, my mother took sides and I believe I was unfairly told off. As I cried to my room, my immediate older brother followed me upstairs in empathy. He challenged me to prove myself to ‘these people’. He reminded me that passing my upcoming JAMB and WAEC exams (only Nigerians will understand what those mean) was an opportunity to change my story. For the first time in my life I saw a gleam of possibility, someone actually believed in me! It seemed such a thin thread but that was all the life line I had.
I studied as if my whole life depended on it, putting aside all the Mills & Booms that I had secretly occupied my study time with as I had believed there was no point studying for the exams I couldn’t pass. A month after I turned sixteen I resumed at the university having passed both exams in one sitting. As I laid on my hostel bed that first night, reflecting on the past few months, I knew without a doubt that my script had changed, and with God’s help, a new story line was unfolding!
That was 28 years ago and my sister and I have grown very close, and as we Brits say, I love her to bits! (Better add that as she might be reading this!) But my message is, you have a script- born with or acquired, but you don’t have to accept it. You can choose to re-claim your role as the author, choose your own role and experience things differently!
Gbonju is a UK based Human Resources Development Consultant, Personal/ Business Performance Coach, and international speaker. For more information on how you or your organisation can benefit from her services, visit www.peakpeopledevelopers.com or firstname.lastname@example.org