My Attitudde

B.L.I.S.S part 2- Language

Meet the Writer


Gbonju is a Human Resources Development Consultant, accredited Performance Coach and International Speaker, she is passionate about supporting individuals and organisations excel; ensuring the HRD function assists in the achievement of organisational strategic goals and objectives.
She is a smart, energetic, a teacher, and trainer. I recommend you connect with her.




B.L.I.S.S part 2- Language

The Acronym B.L.I.S.S stands for Beliefs . Language.  Identity. Script. Story.

 In part one, I wrote on the impact of the human belief system on achieving aspirations. This week, let’s look at the importance of language.

As human beings we perceive our world through our five senses- Sight, hearing, feeling, tasting and smelling, and through these senses we create maps or models of the world in our nervous system. Language is a representation of our internal maps and models; the language a person uses is a direct reflection of their maps and models of reality. For example, if you say ‘I am poor because I am not educated’, it means the map you have of the world is that uneducated people cannot be wealthy.

Just as with our beliefs, everything arises from our thought which in turn is reflected in our language. Christina Hall holds a PhD in language and wrote, “Our thoughts, ideas, concepts, experiences and feelings are given linguistic form and verbal labels, language and thoughts cannot be separated”

lang2The human mind is divided into two- the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. Most thoughts come from the sub-conscious – home of mental activity which lies below the level of momentary awareness. The conscious mind is the ‘Thinker’while the subconscious mind is the ‘Prover’. Using our earlier example, if you hold the thought that ‘I am poor because I am not educated’, the subconscious mind looks for evidence to prove you right. Consequently, your mind stirs you away from any activity that could bring you wealth.

It’s not possible to prevent a thought floating up from the subconscious mind, but you can choose whether to accept and voice it, or reject and ignore it.  “Words and sentences that imply that you are helpless or incapable, or that things are worse than they really are, feed the Prover with potentially dangerous ammunition.” It’s therefore important to turn your thinking around by deliberately and consciously planting positive thoughts in your mind.  Your choice of language is a powerful tool to achieve this. Start by using phases that describes what you want for yourself rather than what you don’t want.  For example, instead of saying ‘I will not fail’ say ‘I can excel’. The subconscious mind, the Prover, takes it as an instruction to ensure you excel. This kind of positive statement is called affirmation– it’s the same principle used by advertisers- “if you tell someone, including yourself, something often enough, sooner or later you will be believed.” Any pattern of thoughts or words repeated several times is impressed upon the subconscious mind and invariably become a driving force.

Affirmation gives you the drive to pursue your goal, work on your weakness, change your attitude and habits and ultimately, focus on what you want for yourself.

So why don’t you start writing down your affirmations today? Visualize what you want to ‘be, do or have.’ Start with the words ‘I am’ and state in the positive. Make it brief but specific. You can write it on a card and carry it in your wallet, make it your computer screen saver, make it into a poster in your office or room.( All these I have done)  Whichever way you choose, just put it somewhere visible and read it out loud as many times as possible.  Initially, it might seem silly, but remember that the Prover is always there at your command to bring your thoughts and words into reality. ‘As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.’

 “The connection between language and reality is made by the definition of words” Wittgenstein

Gbonju is a Human Resources Development Consultant, Personal/ Business Performance Coach, and international speaker. For more information on how you or your organisation can benefit from her services, visit or email


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